Hu's on first
Playwright Jim Sherman wrote this when Hu Jintao was named chief of the Communist Party in China last week.
HU’S ON FIRST
By James Sherman
(We take you now to the Oval Office.)
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What’s happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That’s what I want to know.
Condi: That’s what I’m telling you.
George: That’s what I’m asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow’s name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya’ asking me for?
Condi: I’m telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I’m asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That’s the man’s name.
George: That’s who’s name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That’s correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don’t want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice, here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?
Tuesday 11.19.2002 
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Comment Dish: Read a Comment, Leave a Comment
Absolutely brilliant. :)
( so said Kara 
Friday 11.22 )
Cats are great, but I think dogs are easier to handle and all then the cats, they are so stubburn!
( so said Blaine Hilton 
Friday 11.22 )
Wonderful!
( so said Sarah Swinney 
Friday 11.22 )
I almost fell out of my car laughing..
( so said Ed Shuler Monday 11.25 )
Hysterical, and frightening.
( so said Barbara 
Monday 11.25 )
Great spin on an awesome act!
( so said Nick 
Tuesday 11.26 )
This could become an annual tradition like the “The Great Turkey” or a semi-religious occasion like “The bunny who stole Easter”.
Those would begin something like “Sir, Did you hear what I hear?”. Oops, that’s “The Great Christmas Carol” story starring Condi, first-lady of this administration (Laura), and a supporting cast of thousands.
Oh, how I do go on in the morning!
Thanks for sending this along. I must admit that I may have heard the more risque version if this floating around the internet that I dare not repeat aloud in mixed company (liberals and conservatives). It would be a real hoot. Oops. That’s the Halloween story.…
( so said Neil 
Tuesday 12.03 )
Deadly…I actually had tears, I was laughing so hard!
( so said Steven Donnelly 
Thursday 12.05 )
Wow!! that’s W for you!
( so said masterdang Wednesday 12.11 )
Outrangingly funny! AND frightening… CECE from BRAZIL
( so said CECILY THOMPSON 
Monday 01.20 )
Very imaginative. But not scary, as some commented, as Bush is much smarter then many give him credit for, IMO
( so said gary 
Tuesday 01.21 )
Although we may be dead, we are still proud of you.
( so said abbot & costello Monday 02.10 )
oh god that’s hilarious. sad part is, it’s entirely likely that Bush is that stupid. good job!
( so said Krystyna Saturday 02.22 )
oh god that’s hilarious. sad part is, it’s entirely likely that Bush is that stupid. good job!
( so said Krystyna Saturday 02.22 )
WOW! I couldn’t stop laughing for ten minutes. must be something in the rice.…!
( so said Lisa Ragsdale Wednesday 03.05 )
LOLOLOL! Abbott and Costello must be rolling in their graves! Their routine is my all-time favorite. But this current version is the best political satire ever!!!!
( so said suz Wednesday 03.05 )
I love this joke. I think I will read it again.
( so said Chris Moats Thursday 03.20 )
God help us, but its all true.
When George told Tony to bend over,
Tony replied “Who, Ben Dover?”
George resonded “You, now bend over Tony.”
“Oh, Tony Bendover.” The PM said
“Precisely,” George replied.
And Tony did.
( so said kenneth y Monday 05.05 )
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